Reverse Flirting; The Unlikely Tale of an ‘Older’ Woman

The other day I went to Bed and Bath looking for a spa pillow (which they didn’t have) so a sales lady kindly sent me to Walgreen’s to get an Orthopedic pillow. I admit, I was in a spicy mood that day, wandering down the aisle, when a twenty-five year old looking clerk asked if he could help me.

“I am looking for a pillow you can put in water.”

“Does it need to have a hole in it?” he asked politely enough.

“No,” I said laughing, “I just need something so I can sit comfy in my new spa.”

He was in clerk mode, no one else was in the aisle and it looked like he already had me undressed, sitting next to him with the jets going off in his mind. He proceeded to flirt earnestly.

“Well, you look pretty healthy,” he said in a twenty-five year old kind of way, overtly happy to help me with my mission.

“Yes,” I said, “I’ve never bought anything Orthopedic in my life, but I guess now is as good a time as any.”

“You look really young,” he said, trying to figure out how to prolong the conversation and give himself time to think.

“Thanks, I am feeling quite healthy today,” I said, adding an extra glow while allowing an infinitesimally small smile to curl my lips…

Now, this is when something came over me and I thought ‘Shall I continue this lovely flirt, maybe get his number, or shall I blow his mind a little just for fun?’

I chose the latter. True, it was like having a bitty rabbit in a big Tiger’s cave, so I said, while looking straight into his eyes, “Actually, I am seventy and I do feel exceptionally good.”

Here’s a hint: never say you are twenty years older than you are if you want something to go someplace. Jeez! It was like someone announced there was a terrorist in the room. The guy went dumb, his eyes glazed over and nothing made sense. I could feel the juice leaving his lower extremities. I suddenly knew what it felt like to be a non–entity. He turned abruptly and walked away, most likely wishing he could hide. I honestly think he felt embarrassed flirting with a seventy-year old woman. Fifty, maybe, seventy? No way!

It was enlightening. Sex is indeed in the mind.

Good lord, am I gonna have some fun when I turn seventy. So stay tuned… and watch out!

In Beauty,
Amara